I have to go to target every weekend or else i'm just not right. here in los angeles, we don't have wal-mart. we go to tar-jzhay. actually, there is one wal-mart in the valley, and it's in beautiful downtown panorama city. i have been there, and i've dragged shannon and jen and karman there with me, but ever since the last drive-by shooting karman

Scene: last night, bedroom jason, putting on chapstick: come here. shauna, leans over: what? jason: [presses end of chapstick into shauna's forehead, making a ring-shaped indentation] this. shauna: ow! not so hard! jason, laughing: let me do the olympic rings. shauna: what? all right, go ahead. jason, making four more indentations: these look prett

Hey, remember that stupid toilet that developed the lazy flush and would sometimes flush um, large deposits, and then inexplicably refuse to flush a single square of toilet paper? i fixed it. with my mind. (ok, not really with my mind, but i like to add that phrase to sentences because it makes them more dramatic. go ahead, try it: “i finished ty

Gestures glossary if you’ve ever driven a vehicle, you’ve probably gotten the one-finger salute or the angry fist shake, or some other vigorously applied hand gesture of displeasure. now the prestigious traffic elimination center is pleased to add to your repertoire of motorist-offending gestures! (note: i wish all of these gestures could have

Things that have amused me recently: − the fact that my email server cuts senders’ names off, so i receive a daily status report from jesus. − that after playing a thousand snippets of possible wedding ceremony songs to jason, he said this after i presented my favorite: “yeah, that one’s great – if i’m being knighted.” − that the

Reader q: what happened to the blue sparkly hat you were making for laina? my a: uh, i finished it. i sort of didn't count my gauge right, though and the hat? that's supposed to fit a human person? could fit giagantisaurus. so... the sparkle hat has been in a ziploc bag marinating in itself. i should probably rip it out but mohair is such a pain in

Thank you so much for all of the kind words about abby. a few days after it happened, i could barely tell people about it, but now nearly two weeks removed, it seems like it happened years ago. that’s the good/bad thing about life, i guess. it doesn’t let you grieve for long. i will miss her forever, though. thinking back, it’s so weird the a

Since the honeymoon, i haven’t been sleeping well, due to: 1. our queen-sized bed. we had a king on our honeymoon. there is a huge difference: on the king, i could roll over three times and still not be in the same zip code as jason. on our queen, i routinely feel his elbow attempting a tracheotomy on my throat. 2. the cats. my god, the cats. spe

It’s that time again! “stinky cat poop pudding” don’t knock it; it’s only got 35 calories. “knit my child a tank” i hope they meant a tank top, because otherwise how disappointed is that kid going to be when his g.i. joe has to ride around in a knitted army toy? “do mice hoard d con pellets” what else are they going to throw into

I am crazy. as if you did not already know this. the hat thing has become not merely a project, not just a new notch on my knitting belt, no. no, ya'll. it has moved beyond quest and right into the realm of the obsessed and also, crazy. i think i might be channeling my work stress and also looming-court-date stress into hatmaking. (could be worse,