I know you're stressed out i know you think i'm the one to blame i know i'm not perfect i know i can be a lot sometimes how many efforts i put in this ? how many times i hold my thoughts ? how often you annoy me ? how selfish you are most days ?

Felling like i'm watching my life unravel before my eyes. out of body kinda thing. not feeling like i'm actually livin' it or making my choices. not at all what i was hoping for / dreaming of when i was a kid. i know you can't expect things to go as planned and maybe i'm just an eternally unsatisfied kinda girl, but i don't feel the slightest bit f

Ne rien dire pour épargner les autres epargner les autres mais à ton propre détriment. bite your tongue, fais pas d’vagues don’t speak out, prends sur toi i'm all out of love, i'm all out of life, i'm all out of fight

Kinda wishing you'd actually slip away. ending in those same shoes, 20 years later. still felling like i can't be honest with anyone on this. like i shouldn't think like that. is it because i'm that scientific, super rational girl? i mean, sure, i'll be sad but if i really think about it, wouldn't it be better to not be / be dead than to live under

Des années que je n'avais pas ressenti ça, cette sensation d'avoir des poignards plantés dans l'abdomen, d'avoir des mains qui écrasent mes entrailles de l'intérieur. cette douleur poignante, qui plie en deux, qui empêche de se tenir debout, qui fait vaciller, trembler mes jambes, qui se transforme en agonie au moindre mouvement. une envie, u

And back again. as much as i try to no be affected by what you say or do, i keep finding myself in that same spot again, not understanding what you don't get, not getting why you keep pushing my buttons and hurting me. and i'm spiraling again, can't get you out of my head again.

Tonight i'm mad. mad at you and mad at myself. mad at you because even after all those years, you still push me over and over again. up untill the point where i become the worst version of myself. mad at myself because even after all those years, i still fall for it over and over again. up untill the point where i am the worst version of myself. an

I promised myself i'd never shed a tear for you ever again i promised myself i'd never care enough to let you hurt me and here i am, once again

To fake a smile to get up every morning to listen to them to show up for others to pretend i care to put on a brave face to shoulder that weight to hide my pain to restrain my tears to bite my tongue to forget about myself

I need a break from life. like how do you just unplug everything? i don't want a break from work because i don't wanna be alone with my thoughts but i also can't take work anymore. neither do i want to do anything else or spend time with anyone else. i just want to sleep, to not feel anything anymore and rest and be back in a few months. this is ju